Peaches and Cream

Today has just been "one of those days."  It's been tiresome and a bit stressed.  I'm so sick of drama.  I'm so tired of people being mad at me for stupid reasons or being mad and not telling me why or mad at me for something that isn't my fault.  I'm tired of people getting worked up over nothing and acting like my life is all peaches and cream (haha inside joke moment, sorry), and that I don't have problems and their little issues are so horrible.  I hate being accused of things just because someone doesn't know me as well as they think.

Sometimes I wonder if people look at me and think "wow, her life is great, she doesn't have any problems." I have problems just like you and everyone else, I just don't make a huge deal about it and get mad at everyone for it.  I'm not some shallow ditzy blonde that has to go crying to her friends because someone said something and I was offended.  My friends probably know this better than most, but I rarely go crying to anyone (very very rarely, close to never).  And I'm not gonna sit here and say "you can think whatever you want about me" because you can't, I'm not gonna let you think I'm something I'm not.

Speaking of what I am and am not, I've always wondered what people do think of me, especially today.  I know I can ask you to tell me what you think of me, but if anyone answered they would say all these great things and be nice, and if I had bad qualities they didn't like they wouldn't be honest.  So for any honest people, feel free to point out what you don't like about me.  but really.  Do people really think I'm someone who would go running and tell everyone their secrets and I can't keep my mouth shut and have no respect for what is and isn't mine to share?  or that all I do is sit and talk $%!# about people with my little group of friends?  I'll admitt, I'm not perfect, there are times when I might gossip a little, but can you honestly say you never have? I'm not proud of it, and i'm not trying to shurg the blame.  If you think I sit and talk about you, please please ask me and I will answer you trutfully.  Generally, if I talk about someone its because I'm having conflict with that person and just need someone to talk to so I can think through it with another opinion.

Some people just make me want to shake my head because I feel sorry that they don't understand how to communicate.  What good is it to sit and be mad at someone?! UGH JUST TALK TO THEM!!!! Most of the time, if you get their side of the story and try to see what it was really like, you find you don't have much to be mad about.  And if they are at fault, let them apologize.  Sure, you can still be cautious about trusting them and maybe not be so buddy buddy or whatever, but at least forgive them and don't sit and be mad and never talk to them again.  Trust me, its not the end of the world that they did something or said something.  They probably weren't trying to hurt you, even if they did.

**Deep Breath** Okay.  I'm done raving.  It actually is nice to have this written down, telling you all this.  People used to tell me when they were having problems.  Sometimes people I never talked to came to me for advice.  I miss that.  I miss helping people.  As far as I know they didn't stop because I went and talked about them or told all their secrets (no one ever really told me secrets, they rarely use names or anything).  They probably stopped because things got better.  Or they found someone else.  People like to do that to me, find someone else I mean.  Probably one of the reasons I don't run to people, they've stopped running to me.  Everyone has someone else.  Except for God, of course.  Unfortunately, thats one of my problems too.  I stop running to him alot.  A lot of people go through bad stuff and think "where is God?".  I usually find myself thinking "Where have I been?". 

This is a legnthy post, so I'm gonna finish writing now.  If you want to tell me what you don't like about me, please, I'd love to know and I won't hate you for it.  If you want to tell me about any crap you're going through, please, I'd love to help.  If you know any REALLY REALLY funny jokes, videos, stories, whatever, please, I could use a good laugh.